My Rewilding Journey (Chapter 02).

Welcome back to 🌿🌙 THE EARTHY WRITER: My Rewilding Year 🐝✨

This is the third episode in which  I introduce my March rewilding challenge and then take you back on a trip into my own past, to tell you about my own rewilding journey, chapter 02, and the life-changing decision to train as a safari guide in South Africa, and everything that happened after. 

In this rewilding-episode you’ll learn:

  • About my experience during the one-year safari-guide-course in South Africa
  • why it’s important to define your own life (rather than letting the outside define it for you)
  • How to deal with “No’s” and why rejection is a guide to something better. 
  • How your own personal journey is linked to the journey of rewilding. 

About your host:

Episode Links:

The novel writing course I did:

www.jerichowriters.com

The safari training course I did:

www.safarifrank.com/training/all-training-courses

(This is my husband’s company, which helps organise the training and also plans safaris for you, in case you needed a trustworthy recommendation). 

FYI: The YouTube videos are currently unlisted. That means only people with the link can find it. You can watch new episodes here on my website, share the link with others or open it in the YouTube app.

Listen on Spotify instead!

Episode Transcript 🇬🇧:

Happy New Moon everyone and welcome to a new episode of the earthy writer. Before we begin today’s episode, as always, I would like to respectfully acknowledge the Wadandi people the traditional custodians of the land. I’m speaking from today, and today’s the first episode of the month of March and that means it is time to announce this month rewilding challenge, and for this month, I have come up with something super fun, at least for you, maybe not so much for me, because for the next 21 days, I’m going to go wild swimming.

Now there’s one thing you need to know about me and that is that I have as a child, I’ve always wanted to live by the ocean. And I always when I get there want to achieve a goal. I am going to be one of those people who get up early in the morning and before they even have a cup of coffee. They go to the beach and I want that woman you know, and now that I am so incredibly lucky to live next to the ocean. I’m not doing it and my childhood self is not okay with that. So this month’s challenge is both going to be a personal promise that I’m keeping to myself. I’m holding myself accountable for something that I wanted to do as a child, but also it’s going to be a lot about learning about water and about the ocean. Because I think you cannot embark on a revolving journey which is all about connecting with earth and cutting out the importance of water. You know the earth is 70% of Earth’s surface is water. 60% of our human bodies is water. So there’s definitely a connection there. And during the full moon episode in two weeks time, we’re going to learn about all of that. So it’s going to be very fun for you to watch anyway how I’m suffering because this ocean here is freezing cold and it’s getting towards us and so I’m also expecting a little bit of rain, definitely a lot of wind. It’s going to be pretty miserable. I’m sure that that is why I didn’t do it in summer because that would have been too easy. But today we’re going to finish what we started in the first New Moon episode. Which is my own rewilding journey, chapter two. So chapter one ended with me feeling empty still working that TV job in Berlin and having only one thing and that was this very strong longing to be outside again. And it was as long as needed to with me on holiday and I told you that holiday literally changed everything. And this is where we’re going to continue now. Now where did I go for this infamous holiday that changed everything. Many of you might know this already, but I went to South Africa. So I went with two friends. We went on a road trip for three weeks we started in I think we started in Cape Town and made our way to Johannesburg. I don’t even remember now. But yeah, we slowly made our way there. And it was on New Year’s Day that we ended up in the Kruger National Park and it was on that fateful day that I saw my very first was a young elephant born sort of stumbled into the road and I was driving and I remember it was so crazy to think that you can actually drive yourself you know, just a tourist can drive in this wildlife park with all these these these completely wild animals. So my mind was completely blown.

But anyway, we continued our journey and at the end of those three weeks, my two friends went home and I stayed on for another, I think yeah, roughly three months to backpack around South Africa before the next TV project was going to start back in Germany. And it was during that time that I met some Safari guides who worked at a safari launch and they told me that I could do this training myself. And remember, all I had back then was this longing that I wanted to be outside again, I was ready for a change and also a career change. So I was completely open to try something new. And it was that mindset, which I had when I encountered all these possibilities, and I think this is very important to note like when you’re not open for change, change might not present itself, but I was wide open. I was I was so ready to change and to try something new. So when I heard that I as an international person from from Germany could actually do this training without any prior knowledge.

I was absolutely hooked. It was not something I thought through. It was a very spontaneous idea. But I was absolutely hooked and I started looking into the possibility of me doing this Safari guide training. And I remember how ridiculous that must have sounded like when I first told my family about it. I would like to become I would like to quit my security V job in Berlin and go to South Africa and train to become a safari guide, working with you know, wild lions and elephants and rhinos and all of that. I don’t I don’t think I had thought this through that I definitely haven’t thought it through. It was in German, we call it a snacks, which is a liquor idea. So that’s definitely what it was. I did not think it through but was foolish enough and naive enough to think I could make it work. So when I came back home to Berlin, and then I started working my TV job. I slowly started looking into the training, I looked into what it was going to cost and how long it was going to take and who even does the training, you know what schools are there and so, I slowly started gathering information and what I found out is that there is a training course that you can do that lasts one year.

The problem however, was that that cause was going to be incredibly expensive, and there was no way that I could save up enough money to do this anytime soon. Like obviously if you cut back on your expenses and you focus on your goal, you will get there eventually, but I was ready now. Like I wanted to go the year after I had no time to lose. I wanted to do this now. Because I also didn’t want to lose the momentum. You know when you try something when you think about something for too long. You might end up never doing it. So I knew I had to keep that momentum going. And then I started thinking well, I don’t have the money. But is there a way I can come up with the money? Can I somehow I think at the time today it’s more expensive. I think at the time the training costs about 15,000 euros at the time I think now it’s a lot more. I didn’t have 15,000 euros to save my life. So then I remember the story that I once heard James Cameron tell in an interview and he told the story about how he came up with the idea for Titanic. The movie Titanic. Because what do you need to know about that movie is that James Cameron’s dream it was never to make a movie allow story about the Titanic. No, he wanted to dive down to the shipwreck off the Titanic but he couldn’t afford to do it. See the parallels see how that’s similar. So he had to find a way to finance an expedition to go down to the shipwreck off the Titanic. So that is what I did. The Safaga training was my expedition to the Titanic and I thought okay, what do I have?

That’s like making movies for James Cameron because he then came up with a quick movie idea and he pitched it to the studios as Romeo and Juliet on the Titanic and they bought into it and you know, the rest is literally history.

9:40

And if you remember from the first episode, about my rewilding journey, it was said I had long decided that I was going to be a writer one day, that was the big dream. Yes, I wanted to do the five day training, I was hooked and I want to be outside again. If anything, I wanted that to be the topic I write about. But I knew I was good at writing and I had already been published in some small publications for small magazines. I was featured in some some books or short stories and travel stories. So I knew that could be my angle and luckily, I also had a friend who have recently published a book. So I asked my friend, very briefly, I asked my friend for his contact to his publishing house. And there’s one thing to understand I always tell the story and ever since a lot of people that I don’t even know ask me for my contacts to the publishing house and you just really need to understand what a precious thing that is. To just give away your contact.

You need to trust that person completely and I will never forget my friend did that for me and trusted me and gave me the most precious contact there is to have. So I got email just to who is my editor today and I emailed her with this crazy idea that I would like to go to South Africa for a year to train as far as a guide and I would like to write a book.

I wrote a very basic first chapter, which was basically me coming back from South Africa and telling my parents about this crazy idea that I was going to be suffering died, and I sent her all of that I didn’t hear anything back for about a couple of weeks. And then she suggested that we meet up so we met for coffee, and I told her more about the story. And then for the longest time, I didn’t hear anything, I think for about four or five months and didn’t hear anything anymore. And I started looking into other options. And I had already made my peace with the idea that was going to take me longer to the training so I can save up enough money. And then I’ll never forget.

It was early summer I was sitting in a cafe with two friends of mine. When I received that call. I received a phone call from my editor who said they would like to offer me a publishing contract a book contract, they were going to give me an advance on the book sales, and I was overjoyed. I was screaming in the streets. I was so incredibly happy because not only did I achieve something I always wanted, which was to get a book to you but at the same time I was going to be able to do this training that I wanted to do. So you can imagine what a massive step that was for me and for the huge milestone I will never forget that day. How important it was and I will never, never forget the people who helped get me that it was such an incredibly important moment because what you need to understand about me is also that I had tried so many different things before that nothing worked. Nothing had ever worked. And here was this was my first ever when there was just my first ever when they had tried for something and it actually worked and it also sawed through. So after that I booked a training course and I had another I think seven or eight months until the training was going to start and I was going to face Africa to do the training.

And it was it was strange. The closer I got to starting the training, the more doubt settled in there, the more imposter syndrome. So you have to not only do the training, but I also have to write a book about it in the end. They’re going to ask for their money back and then what am I going to do so there was a lot of stress leading up to that moment. And when I finally boarded that plane to fly to South Africa, I was terrified. I was so scared to start this. Like I said because not only was I going to go to the to the South African bush to to become a safari guide be the only rookie in the group of people who probably wanted to do this on their lives. We’re all from South Africa. I know all about these wild animals and I know absolutely nothing but also they have the pressure to write a book about it in the end and I didn’t know what was going to happen throughout the year wasn’t even going to be interesting enough to write a book about or was the publishing house say at the end going to say at the end where she you know, we don’t want this. So there was a lot of risk involved. And you know, a lot of people say oh my god, you’re so brave for doing that.

And yes, for me, it took a lot of bravery to do that. Back in the day. It was a huge step. For me. It was the biggest step I’d ever taken in my whole life. But I’m always very careful with the word brave because I don’t think I’m I am brave when I look at other people out there what I did, was not brave. It was brave for me, but I think you do need to look at it in relation to what bravery actually means in this world. So pretty much exactly a year after I set this goal that was going to go and do the safari net training. I was back in South Africa and I was starting the training and it was everything I hoped it was going to be and so much more. Like I want it to be outside 24/7 And I achieved that during that year I was sleeping in a tent, which I never thought I would enjoy but I did. I walked barefoot in camp and felt the ground beneath my feet again and oh my goodness, I encountered so many animals I encountered elephants and giraffes and lions and antelopes and zebras like everything. But that was amazing. Like that was so amazing.

And I still remember you know, seeing my first lion out in the wild and we’ll never forget that. But looking back what was the most amazing to me was that I had no idea of this connection that exists between everything that is out in nature. I didn’t know that as humans we are connected to, you know, this big, beautiful magical ball in the universe. And that was the first time I really felt at home. Not necessarily in South Africa, but on this planet. I really felt like I belong to the rest of the earth. And that’s why I think you know, if you think that something is missing from your life, it might very well be nature. It might very well be that all that’s missing from your life is that connection to the rest of the world. So what I would recommend I know that it’s not possible for for everyone and I was so lucky and so privileged to be able to do it. It’s not possible for everyone to just take a year off and go live in the wild. But you do not have to. But try to take extended time in nature if you can.

You know, a nature walk is good. spending the weekend out in nature is good, but also maybe think about your next holiday where could that go? Could you maybe spend a week or two somewhere completely in the wild completely off grid? Because I really think we humans need that for our for our mental health. You know, it’s what we’re supposed to do. So like I said I was incredibly lucky to be exposed to the wild for an entire year. I learned about the ecosystem and not about the stars I learned about ecology and I learned about animal behaviour and how to approach elephants and lions and and and rhinos and buffalo on foot. And you know actually had a journalist asked me this the other day she asked if you look back on your life is the one year that stands out the most. And I said hands down it was 2015 it was the year I did the training that year literally changed everything about my life and not just about my understanding of this world. Or that then I was brave enough to do it. But also because during that time I met my husband I met my husband and fell in love and What followed were a couple of years of absolute adventure and bliss as him and I travelled around Southern Africa to explore the other countries. We went to Botswana together to Namibia, to Zambia to Zimbabwe. And then eventually we went up to East Africa as well. We went to the Uganda and I was so lucky to see the gorillas there as well. And it was just the craziest most fulfilling time of my life. So what actually happened after the training? Well, after the training, I went home and I had a book to write so that’s what I did. I spent a couple of months I sublet my apartment while I was doing the training. So after that, I moved back into my apartment and I wrote my book and handed it into my publisher and then about eight nine months later, the book was published. By the time it was published, I was already back on the African continent and I was travelling with my then boyfriend franc at the time we were travelling in Zambia, to get to know Zambia. And the book came out and it was well received it did fairly well but not much actually happened. You know, every author and especially the publishing houses hope of course that this book will end up on a bestseller list. But mine didn’t do that. Mine didn’t do that. It was well received, but it sort of dwindled after that, and it was only until December, the book came out in September, and it was in December that suddenly I get an email from my publisher and they said your book made the what’s in Germany is called the speaker best selling list. best and most important, best in the list. It’s like the New York Times bestsellers. It made the list it was on spot number 19 They only record the spots up to number 20 So mine was 19 but I remember that was such a huge win for me because what that meant was that the readers because I didn’t have any publicity or marketing or anything it was the readers will love the book so much that they told others about it. And then it’s sort of spiralled upwards from there. Then I got a request for like TV interviews and I was invited into talk shows and the whole thing.

It didn’t just spiral upwards. It also spiralled a bit out of control, I would say because I had just finished my training and I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but the media very quickly labelled me as you know, this expert Safari guide in South Africa. It was just such a good story to tell, wasn’t it? And I hadn’t even figured out what I was going to do with all of that I was just travelling with Frank having a good time and we were sort of making plans of what our future was going to be. So that was a very hectic time. And I was just along for the ride, you know, as you as you would as you weren’t as anyone would because you’re an author, your book is received well and you’re just trying to, like I said, ride that wave for as long as you can. And it was during that time that I learned a very important lesson, and that is that you cannot not manifest your life. And it was during that time that I learned a very important lesson and that is that you cannot not manifest your life. If you don’t decide what your life is. Going to Be. Be sure that the outside world is going to do it for you. And the other thing I learned is that not everyone will take to your story kindly not everyone will love you. Especially if you write a book there will always be people who absolutely hate the book that you’ve written. But it was a strange time whether

marketing or anything. It was the readers who love the book so much that they told us about it. And then it’s sort of spiralled upwards from there. Then I got a request for like what I was going to do is all of that I was just travelling with Frank having a good time and we will sort of making plans of what our future was going to be. So that was a very hectic time. And I was just along for the ride you know, as you as you would as you work as anyone work because you are an author, your book is received well and you’re just trying to, like I said, write that way for as long as you can. And it was during that time that I learned a very important lesson, and that is that you cannot not manifest your life and it was during that time that I learned a very important lesson and that is that you cannot not manifest your life. If you don’t decide what your life is going to be. Be sure that the outside world is going to do it for you. And the other thing I learned is that not everyone will take you through your story kindly not everyone will love you. Especially if you write a book there will always be people who absolutely hate the book that you’ve written. So it was a strange time. I then got offered another book contract number two book contracts for follow ups of the first story. And I was figuring it out as I went along. And at the same time I had to write about it, what I was going through and what was happening in my life. So it was very strange. I’m not complaining. I’m definitely not complaining. I’m just saying it was a whirlwind. The four or five years that came after the training was an absolute whirlwind. But essentially what I decided was that I wasn’t going to actually become a safari guide and find work in the safari lodge in South Africa for many different reasons. One being that the unemployment in South Africa is so incredibly high and I really wasn’t going to steal anyone’s job. So my husband and I now husband and I we decided very early on that we were going to if we’re going to do this, we were going to do our own thing. So he is from South Africa. He was born in South Africans family moved to Australia when he was a teenager so he’s got dual citizenship that was on the side. And his family when we met his family had started a travel agency they were going to plan a book safaris for customers around the world and for a couple of years. We did some tours through their travel agency because my book was being received well there were people who read the book and wanted to come on safari with us, and he had the travel agency so we combined the two and eventually it was in 2019 We got married in 2019 and it wasn’t that same year that we started really looking into where we were going to settle and we wanted it to be the country of Botswana. My husband absolutely loves Botswana. It’s it’s his all time favourite country. And I love it too. It’s the biggest stronghold of elephants. And so it really was a no brainer.

But like I said, we didn’t want to steal anyone’s job. So we decided we were going to start our own company and actually create employment in Botswana. It was a very complicated process and it took us a long time to figure it out. And it was around February March in 2020, that we were finally ready. We had all our documents together to apply for our visas in Botswana and to actually start the company. So we entered the country thinking we would never leave again and we would actually set up there. But I’m sure you remember. There’s something else that happened in early 2020. And that was COVID. That was the pandemic and it happened for us when we were in Botswana and in no time the country shut down and everybody who was not from Botswana had to leave the country. And that left us as an international couple, pretty much stranded So Germany where I was from had already closed its borders to all international travellers. So I could have gone back that but Frank, my husband would not have been able to Botswana was closed off. South Africa was closed off the only country it was ridiculous, but the only country that we could have gone to that was still open at the time and when my husband actually was a citizen was Australia.

So in a very quick decision, we separated and I flew into Australia without him because he still had to wrap things up in Botswana. He couldn’t just leave and as a citizen of Australia, he would always have been allowed back into Australia, but me as an international traveller, I could only enter for another 48 hours. So I rushed to get to Australia and then a couple of days later he followed and after that, Australia completely shut down and I will forever be so grateful for the country of Australia for taking me in and for allowing me to wait out the storm together with my husband. Because you know, I know of I know of fathers who missed the birth of the child because of the pandemic because they were separated for such a long time the mother and so it was a crazy time for all of us. And what the pandemic did for me and I noticed that I really needed to recalibrate my life during that time and really look at what I want my life to be. And now don’t get me wrong. I love South Africa and then would love to live in Botswana and deal with the elephants and I think for both Frank and me, there’s still there’s still that itch there. A human life is long and we still have plans to one day go back there if we can do something and contribute are there. But when the pandemic happened for me, it was really time to refocus on what it is that I actually want to do with my life.

And I told you in episode one, and maybe now it makes a lot more sense that the dream was not to become a safari guide in South Africa. The dream was always to be a writer. You know that. That was that was my goal. That was my big childhood dream. And during the pandemic, I go back to that dream and it was a it was a very quiet but a very beautiful time. So as you know now, during my time in southern Africa, I wrote a couple of nonfiction travel memoirs, but the dream really was to write novels. I wanted to write novels, but I had known for quite a while that I had absolutely no idea how to write a novel writing a novel is very different from writing a nonfiction travel memoir just about yourself and your own thoughts. So during the pandemic, I really had to sit down and face this dream that I had and look it in the eye and start to learn how to write a novel and it’s funny in a way because during my training as a safari guide, I encountered lions and elephants on foot I was in standoff with an elephant up close. but that was not as scary as facing off. that that dream that I had and sitting down and learning how to write a novel.

It was incredibly hard and it was incredibly frustrating. And so I applied for an online course and Jericho writers, I put the link down in the description box are amazing. They are an incredible company based in the UK the teach people like you and me how to write books. I applied for an online course to learn how to write a novel, so that’s what I did throughout the pandemic. I spent the first year learning how to read the book and the other two years. I started writing books. I started writing novels. And I really wanted to tell you about this as well because this is a huge part of my rewilding journey.

This is what rewilding to me: to find a life that feels good on the inside that life that’s true to yourself and a life that lives up to those dreams that you always had as a child. But learning how to write novels wasn’t even the hardest part. The hardest part was yet to come. When after I finished writing my first novel, I was trying to sell a novel. And it turned out no one wanted it. That was because the first novel simply wasn’t good enough. And I think many authors will tell you the same thing that the first novel that you wrote was the so called practice novel, you had to learn the tricks of the trade and you do learn how to craft a novel and then you put that one aside and you move on to the next one. But then the next one I wrote also didn’t sell. And I was this close to giving up. And part of the problem was that I was writing those novels in English now. So when it was time to approach a literary agent, I approached English literary agents first, but because I had already published nonfiction in Germany, those English agents told me, ‘Well why don’t you stick with the German market first, you know, that’s your home market. That’s sort of how this works.’

So eventually, that’s what I ended up doing. I ended up translating these books back into German and then they approached German publishing houses. But the problem there was that my brand was so Africa, it was all about elephants and safaris. And my new novels were something completely different. So you see in Germany, I wasn’t able to publish these new books, because they weren’t on brand. The old me the old brand. You know, my old name was so strongly associated with South Africa with safaris and elephants.

So I hit another wall that you know, the pandemic for me it was just a pile of rejection upon rejection upon rejection, everyone has to say no to me. And eventually I realised it wasn’t going to happen like this and I just couldn’t keep on hoping. I could have kept on going and send out more query letters to literary agents, or I could have written another book.

But I liked that book. I like my first book, ‘The Anywhere Hotel.’

I’m really proud of this, and I wanted this to be my first one. So eventually, I decided I was going to have to do this myself. I was going to have to do this without a publishing house, and there in also lies another lesson:

Sometimes in life the only person to believe in yourself is going to be yourself.

The only person who can even see that castle up there in the sky is yourself. And it’s your job to keep on believing in that dream and to make others see so eventually I realise that’s what I have to do here. I have to be my only cheerleader. You know, aside from my husband and my family, my friends, of course, but I have to be the one who’s going to make this happen.

So I came up with a pen name to start fresh and clearly separate my nonfiction from my fiction books. And I started to self-publish these books, and honestly, it was the best decision to make because now I’m in charge of those books and I can make them exactly the way I want to make them and a half of this incredible team of freelancers that I work with my editors and my cover designers and my proofreaders. It’s, it’s been such an incredible journey to get to this point. And I love my traditional publishing journey as well. I really like being a hybrid author, which is what that’s called. So I have my traditional publishing houses in Germany that I work with, but then for the English books, I get to do this self publishing thing. So really have these two strong pillars that I’m standing on now. But you see, I never would have gotten there. Had there not been these obstacles had there not been these challenges along the way and if not, a lot of people had said no to me in the process.

So this, today, is me – fully taking charge of my own narrative, my own story.

And yes, I’m writing under a pen name. But the funny thing is, is that Gisele Stein is much more my authentic self than we all need ever was. And that is because this is not the life I was born into, but it’s the life that I created for myself. This is the person that I choose to be.

And I will forever be grateful that I have that time in South Africa that I got to spend a whole year and even the years after that, in the wild learning from nature being immersed in nature, you know, but I think the real interesting part comes now because it’s very easy to rewild yourself for some time. When you live in the world. It’s much harder to do when you live like this when you live within four walls. And so yeah, this is where I am on my journey: I’ve done the literal rewilding, I’ve spent a year amongst wild animals in South Africa. But then I’ve also done that inner rewilding, defining what it is that I want my life to be and creating a life that feels good for myself and I feel like has a purpose which is to write books and to tell stories.

And now, the next logical step for me is to combine them to to combine my love for the outdoors and for nature with my passion for writing and for telling stories. And that is why I’m doing this podcast. That is why I have embarked on my rewilding here, and I can’t wait to share more of it with you. But for now, this is the end of this week’s episode. So as always, make sure to head on over to Instagram and let me know what you thought. And then make sure to tune back in two weeks from now, when I tell you all about my wild swimming adventures.

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