Something profound shifted in me when I stopped apologising for taking up space. After years of dimming my light, softening my edges, and swallowing my truth to keep others comfortable, I realised I had been living as a ghost of myself. The “good girl” programming ran so deep that I barely recognised the fierce woman buried beneath layers of people-pleasing and perfectionism.
Writing my female rage witchy fantasy trilogy became my initiation into what I now call my dark feminine era. But not dark as in evil, but dark as in mysterious, powerful, and unafraid of depth. The more I dove into the story and the characters, the more I began to understand that everything I had been taught to suppress (my anger, my sexuality, my ambition, my intuition, my need for solitude) were actually sources of immense power. The parts of myself I had been most ashamed of were the very qualities that could set me free. It’s been (and still is, as I’m writing book 2 and 3 in the trilogy) so much fun, exploring these themes in a safe fictional space through my characters’ eyes.
Through months of shadow work, boundary-setting, and radical truth-telling, I remembered who I had always been beneath all the conditioning. And I recommitted to what the witches of old long knew: that a woman in her full power is both creator and destroyer, nurturer and warrior, light and shadow dancing together.
Please steal my “Habits of the Dark Feminine” Pocket Guide:
The following ‘Habits of the Dark Feminine’ emerged from this journey of reclamation. I wrote this guide for myself, as a reminder, but also as a source of inspiration for the characters in my novel.
🌞Morning Practices
In those precious pre-dawn hours, when the rest of the world is still quiet, when no one asks anything of us, we have a unique opportnity to access the ancient feminine wisdom that patriarchy tried to erase. This sacred time between night and day holds unique potential for connecting with our shadow self and reclaiming what was stolen. I have found that the dark feminine rises in these quiet moments, when we can hear our own voice above the noise of should and must.
By claiming this time as sacred, reserved for us to just be, no make-up, no noise, no demands, no performance, we are free to tune into our own knowing. The practice of shadow journaling can serve as a bridge between our conscious and unconscious minds, so that suppressed truths may surface that bright daylight often keeps buried.
Dark Feminine Morning Practices Pocket Guide:
- Rises before dawn to commune with her shadow self
- Guards morning solitude as non-negotiable sacred time
- Begins each day by acknowledging her full spectrum of emotions
- Writes uncensored pages to dialogue with her unconscious
- Practices mirror work, speaking truths she’s been afraid to voice
- Creates ritual around her morning practice, honoring the darkness as teacher
🧘♀️Embodiment Practices
Our bodies hold the memory of every wound, every silencing, every time we made ourselves smaller, both as an indiviual but also as a collective through the ages. The dark feminine path requires us to reclaim our physical sovereignty, but not through punishment or perfection. I have come to believe that what’s asked of us, really, is instead fierce self-acceptance. By honouring our natural cycles, especially the dark moon of menstruation, we reconnect with ancient feminine rhythms.
Moving our bodies in a way that feels connected and true to us (be that through yoga, dance or walking) can help us to remember that our bodies are temples, not objects. The following practices help us shed the shame that keeps us disconnected from our own flesh:
Dark Feminine Embodiment Practices Pocket Guide:
- Moves her body with intention and sensuality, purely for her own pleasure
- Honours her menstruation as a time of heightened intuition and power
- Practices saying “no” with her whole body, setting fierce boundaries
- Engages in mirror work, speaking love to the parts of herself she was taught to hate
- Dances alone to music that awakens her primal self
- Breathes deeply into her belly, claiming space unapologetically
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🌚 Shadow Work Habits
The dark feminine doesn’t shy away from the uncomfortable truths that live in our shadows. She knows that what we resist persists, and what we integrate becomes our power. By getting in touch with the darkest parts of our selves, those that society has taught us to suppress, hide or be ashamed of, she learns to forge her own path, in shoes that are entirely her own. Worn and muddy and utterly, utterly comfprtable.
Dark Feminine Shadow Work Habits Pocket Guide:
- Questions every “good girl” rule she inherited
- Faces her anger without judgment, using it as fuel for change
- Explores her jealousy and competition with other women as doorways to healing
- Acknowledges her desire for power without shame or apology
- Examines her people-pleasing patterns and their roots
- Practices radical honesty about her needs and desires
- Transforms victim stories into empowerment narratives
🔮 Intuitive Connection
The dark feminine trusts the knowing that comes from her bones, her blood, her belly. She has learned to distinguish between fear-based anxiety and intuitive warning, between social conditioning and her soul truth. This requires constant practice of tuning inward, so as to get past the noise of expectations.
Dark Feminine Intuitive Connection Pocket Guide:
- Trusts her first instincts before second-guessing herself
- Pays attention to which people and situations drain versus energize her
- Tracks her dreams and synchronicities as guidance from her unconscious
- Practices divination or oracle work to dialogue with her inner wisdom
- Notices her body’s responses to different people and environments
- Makes decisions from her center, not from fear or obligation
👩🎨 Creative Expression
Creativity in the dark feminine tradition has nothing to do with producing things for anyone’s approval. on the contrary: Dark Feminine art has always expressed the raw, unfiltered truth of our experience. This means creating from our wounds as much as our joys, from our rage as much as our love. This way, art becomes a form of shadow work, a way of making the invisible visible.
Dark Feminine Creative Expression Pocket Guide:
- Creates from her authentic experience, not from what sells or pleases
- Uses art to process and integrate difficult emotions
- Shares her story without editing out the uncomfortable parts
- Expresses her sexuality and sensuality unapologetically in her work
- Documents her shadow work journey through writing, art, or movement
- Creates ritual objects or altar spaces for her practice
- Celebrates the dark themes in her creative work as sacred
❤️🔥Relationship Dynamics
The dark feminine doesn’t shrink herself to make others comfortable. She speaks her truth even when her voice shakes, sets boundaries even when people call her selfish or walks away from what doesn’t serve her even when society says she should stay. Her relationships are always based on authenticity, never on performance.
Dark Feminine Relationship Dynamics Pocket Guide:
- Speaks her truth without sugar-coating or people-pleasing
- Sets boundaries that feel scary but necessary
- Calls out toxicity and manipulation when she sees it
- Supports other women’s power without competing or comparing
- Chooses relationships that celebrate her full self, shadows included
- Practices healthy anger expression instead of passive aggression
- Walks away from dynamics that require her to be less than she is
✨Sacred Solitude
The dark feminine knows that solitude isn’t loneliness, but comfort. In her alone-time, she regenerates, processes, connects with her truest self. She guards this time fiercely because she knows that, without it, she loses touch with her centre and begins performing for others again.
Dark Feminine Sacred Solitude Pocket Guide:
- Schedules regular alone time as non-negotiable self-care
- Uses solitude for shadow work rather than endless scrolling
- Sits with difficult emotions instead of immediately distracting herself
- Practices self-pleasure and sensuality without shame
- Communes with her shadow through meditation or journaling
- Creates ritual space for processing her inner world
- Honors her need for darkness and quiet as sacred
💃 Professional Sovereignty
The dark feminine brings her full power to her work, refusing to dim her light or hide her intelligence to make others comfortable. She knows her worth and isn’t afraid to demand it. She creates from her authentic vision rather than following what others say is trendy or allowed.
Dark Feminine Professional Sovereignty Pocket Guide:
- Charges what she’s worth without apologising
- Speaks up in meetings and takes up space unapologetically
- Refuses to play small to soothe others’ insecurities
- Creates work that reflects her authentic vision and values
- Sets boundaries around her time and energy
- Mentors other women in claiming their power
- Challenges systemic inequalities rather than just adapting to them
🍂 Seasonal Living
The dark feminine understands that life is cyclical, not linear. Like the earth itself, she goes thorugh seasons of growth and seasons of rest, times of expansion and times of contraction. She honours these natural rhythms instead of forcing herself into constant productivity.
Dark Feminine Seasonal Living Pocket Guide:
- Honors her need for rest during her personal “winter” seasons
- Embraces the destruction that precedes new growth
- Works with her natural energy cycles rather than against them
- Creates ritual around transitions and endings
- Allows herself to lie fallow when needed
- Celebrates her dark moon phases as times of heightened power
- Trusts the wisdom of her body’s rhythms over external schedules
🐦🔥 Sacred Rebellion
The dark feminine is not interested in being a “good girl.” She questions authority, challenges unfair systems, and refuses to participate in her own oppression any longer. Her rebellion is creative, strategic, and aimed at liberation for herself and others. It ‘s not blind rage; it’s calcualted. And it’s fabulous.
Dark Feminine Sacred Rebellion Pocket Guide:
- Questions societal expectations about how women should behave
- Refuses to shrink herself to make others comfortable
- Challenges systems that benefit from women’s silence and submission
- Uses her voice to speak uncomfortable truths
- Supports other women’s rebellion and awakening
- Breaks generational patterns of women’s disempowerment
- Creates new paradigms instead of just criticizing old ones
I hope this guide serves as a reminder that your darkness is not something to fix or overcome. It is literally a source of tremendous power waiting to be reclaimed. Feel free to copy, share, and adapt these practices to fit your own journey of dark feminine awakening.
Do something fierce this week.
Hi ♥️, I’m Gisele Stein, author of feel-good novels with a little magic and places like characters, which i craft from my cosy cabin on Wadandi Boodja in Western Australia. Have a look at my books here. I’m also podcasting as The Earthy Writer, to document my rewilding year: Every new moon, I set a new rewilding intention for the month, and every full moon I share my learnings with you…